Fat Man's Misery

A wonderful canyon, a Zion classic. Short rappels, limited water, wonderful arches, a cool grotto, no permit required - Fat Man's has a lot to offer, but the penalty is the long hike back to the car, usually in the full sun. Much of the charm can be lost in the heat of the summer, so save this one for a nice day in the spring or fall, or an overcast, coolish day in the summer.

In all but the hottest weather, many people will want a wetsuit.

Let's not take it too lightly, however. Several natural anchors require some skill to evaluate or build, and the canyon's popularity with beginners means they will often be messed up and unsafe. The navigation requires being able to read a map, as getting into the right canyon is a very good idea. Other canyons in the area have longer rappels at the end, and have trapped poor-navigators in the past. While the canyon is technically easy, even in ideal conditions it makes for a long day.

Access is off Highway 9 in Zion National Park. "Checkerboard Canyon" is the canyon west of Checkerboard Mesa, between it and Crazy Quilt Mesa. There are several parking pull outs close to where the road crosses the canyon. Park in one of these and follow a social trail into the canyon.

Hike up the canyon, staying in wash for almost the entire way. There are multiple trails out of the watercourse for no discernible reason. The only real obstacle is bypassed by a short slickrock ramp and trail about 30 feet back from the chimney. At the head of the canyon, stay left on the slickrock as high as possible, then traverse right onto a good trail up the sanddune to the top of the pass.

Several trails descend the far side - take the one on the left (south), and follow it as it exits the canyon and traverses left and south past one buttress, then past a large, magnificent conical buttress. (Note this as a landmark for the return journey.) Cross the drainage that comes from east of the conical buttress, and the next drainage too, and climb to the crest of a slickrock ridge.

It is important to get into the correct canyon, Misery Canyon, on the map just past the Park Boundary. There are several cairned routes in the area, many of them going south to the Powell Plaque (your exit route). Misery Canyon is recognized by being much deeper than the other canyons in the area - from the crest of the ridge it is 500 feet down to the floor of the canyon. First time visitors may want to carry a GPS.

Work your way down a large slickrock face to a bench above the bottom of the canyon, then upcanyon a bit to get down to the actual wash, just below a fun-looking string of potholes. Hike down the wash to the first rappel.

Fat Man's is characterized by short sections of sweet rock narrows between sections of sandy wash walking. The first, short rappel can be anchored in several ways, but the single ancient bolt is probably not a good choice. Several nice downclimbs and a couple pools, at times swimmer, add spice to the adventure. After several rappels, a series of drops out in the open indicate you are getting close to the confluence with the East Fork of Misery Canyon - most people will bypass this section on the left, so anchors may not be in place and require mad natural anchors skills to generate. Once above the confluence, downclimb a short drop, then rappel off a tree down to the wash.

Continue downcanyon to the two final sections of narrows. A couple short raps, a couple downclimbs, a couple pools leads to the final grotto section, delightfully dark, cool and scenic. A sulfurous spring or two adds some color and aroma to the scene. The grotto lets out on the East Fork of the Virgin River in a section known as The Barracks.

The water in the East Fork appears clean and fresh, but the river passes through farming areas above, and the water should be filtered before drinking. In summer, people often hang out in the river until as late as possible. The hike back takes three to three and a half hours.

The exit is next to the Powell Plaque, 1/4 mile downstream. Wade down the amazing canyon. Look for a heavily vegetated bench just above the river on the right. Climb up on the bench, avoiding the poison ivy. The Powell Plaque is on the downstream side of the bench. The exit trail climbs conspicuously up the steep slope above, with a few short climbing sections. Follow the trail and signs of traffic up onto a ridge, then follow the ridge north. There are multiple trails, try to follow the most prominent as the ridge heads toward the large conical buttress. Eventually climb up to and over the pass, and back to Highway 9.

If the water level in the East Fork does not allow passage downstream, a steep, loose, unpleasant gully can be climbed to the east to get out of the canyon, but finding your way across Misery Canyon and back to the conical buttress could be difficult.

Before exiting, a side trip down to Labyrinth Falls can be worthwhile. It takes about an hour to get down to falls, and an hour to get back. Some scrambling is required to get to a view of the falls. Getting a GOOD view will require ropes with descending and ascending gear. Parunaweap Canyon is closed to the public below Labyrinth Falls. If water is high in the East Fork, getting back up to the exit could be quite challenging.

Permits are not required. The technical portions of the canyon are on BLM land in Kane County.

Emergency Number: Kane County Sheriff: 877-644-2349 Ext 1